11.23.09 By: Zachary Herrmann
Superheroes in an American Gladiators movie? What are they going to do next, toss aliens into Battleship? Alright, all snark aside, let's back track for a second. In case you missed the news last spring (you know, while you were doing things more important than contemplating bad potential movie properties), Johnny Ferraro, creator of the original American Gladiators TV show, announced he would be developing a big screen adaptation of the late '80s/ early 90s TV relic. It was one of those tear-out-your-hair-'cause-Hollywood-drives-you-so-nuts moments. How could anyone think this was a good idea, or for that matter, even a profitable one?
Now, it looks like American Gladiators the movie has a writer lined up, and we know a little bit more about the premise as well. Peter Iliff will be writing the script and, in some stroke of genius, the gladiators will now be superheroes. Apparently, foam baton-wielding spandex combatants just wasn't enough. To Iliff's credit, the guy has Point Break and Patriot Games on his resume, although definite points off for penning the upcoming Point Break sequel (another one for the "why?" category).
Even in a world of Bratz: The Movie and a planned Monopoly pic, an American Gladiators movie seems terribly ill-advised, especially considering how NBC-Universal axed the 2008 TV series remake after two seasons. But if there were ever going to be any appeal in American Gladiators the movie, the superheroes route just kills it. Not that we really need another dumb Will Ferrell comedy, but the completely cheese-ball ridiculousness of American Gladiators begs for something of that ilk.
Obviously there isn't a whole lot to be said about the sanctity of the source material in this case, but allow me to reiterate...superheroes? Really? If they were going to jump on a senseless band wagon, I can't help but think zombies or vampires would have at least been more interesting.
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