Star Wars

My love affair with Star Wars stopped with Episode III. I was willing to put aside my issues with the weak, convoluted screenplays to Episode I and II, in the hopes that the third installment would tie every thing up nicely. It didn't. In this fan's opinion, Episode III felt just as disconnected to the previous two films as those felt to each other. I'd had enough of Star Wars.

I've only slightly recovered from the 2005 release of Episode III. It doesn't make me angry anymore, but I have little to no interest in the universe I once loved, and that makes me a little bit sad. I can still watch the original trilogy, and appreciate them as films, but I'm not buying the toys, the shirts, the bedsheets, the video games, the kitchen appliances, or the lingerie. My interest in the trappings of Star Wars fandom seems to be dead forever.

I wonder how much of my feelings on Star Wars and its creator George Lucas affected my enjoyment of Alexandre Phillipe's documentary The People Vs. George Lucas. I've not only internalized most of the thoughts conveyed in the film, I've had some of the exact same discussions with my friends that are presented here. Why did George Lucas add so much unnecessary crap to the Special Editions? Why did The Phantom Menace disappoint so much? And what's the deal with Jar Jar Binks?

With cameras just about ready to roll, Green Lantern has added two more names to the ever-expanding cast list. Taika Waititi and Temuera Morrison are those names. And they're both from New Zealand. COINCIDENCE?

Maybe. Sure. I don't know. Neither are huge names, but I can guarantee that you're at least somewhat familiar with Morrison since he played the destined-to-be-headless plot device/pointless piece of fan service named Jango Fett in the Star Wars prequels. Waititi has acted in a bunch of stuff I've never heard of, but he gets props for working as a writer and director on the late Flight of the Conchords.

Waititi will play the best friend of our hero, Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds). I have nothing else to comment. Anyone know this guy?

Morrison will be playing a role that is vital to the Green Lantern mythos: Abin Sur. Even a Green Lantern novice like me knows the importance of this character, since he is one who gives Jordan his power ring in the first place. I know I derided Morrison above since he's spent the past decade waist-deep in Star Wars video game voice overs, but anyone who has seen Once Were Warriors can attest that this guy is a powerhouse actor. I don't think that Green Lantern will give him a chance to give those acting chops a good work-out, but considering how good he can be, his casting intrigues me.

Green Lantern is probably shooting right now. It'll be in theaters next summer.

(Via Coming Soon)

Earlier this week, we told you about how scientists are trying to ruin our science fiction fun by denying us the possibility of safe, speedy intergalactic travel. It turns out that was only the beginning of what appears to be an ongoing attack on the film-going audience, a vicious assault that plans to deprive us of fantasy and replace it with textbook fact. The scientists are here for your movies. And if one movie falls, others will fall and soon enough, all of us will be victim to cold hard realism. Films will obey the rules of physics. All science will be plausible. Things will make sense.

Cats and dogs, living together! Mass hysteria!

Removing tongue from cheek. The Guardian has an interesting piece about Sidney ­Perkowitz, a physics professor who has compiled a list of "guidelines" that he believes Hollywood should follow when making science fiction films. Perkowitz is a member of the Science and Entertainment Exchange, a group that advises films and TV shows on their scientific accuracy and he apparently takes it very personally when a film disgraces science, saying that Starship Troopers' giant bugs would "collapse under their own weight" and that audiences hated The Core because of its preposterous science.

A few quick notes for Mr. Perkowitz:

1. Giant bugs are awesome. Giant bugs trump science.

2. I think audiences hated The Core for a lot more than wonky science.

Every day, a studio picks up the rights to a supposedly popular book series that I've never heard of. Am I that blind? Am I that stupid? Am I that un-hip? Maybe I'm too hip. Who knows.

The book series announcement of February 23, 2010 is that Fox has the rights to the Fourth Realm trilogy and they've hired Alex Tse, one of the two credited writers on last year's Watchmen, to handle scriptwriting duties. The Hollywood Reporter breaks down the plot of the first book, The Traveler:

"...set in a U.S. society run by a secret organization seeking to control the population via constant observation. Seeking to rebel against these constraints are an almost extinct group of people called Travelers, who can project their spirit into other dimensions, and their protectors, called Harlequins. The inaugural tome centers on a reluctant Harlequin named Maya who must protect two naive Traveler brothers."

Okay, so it falls into the paranoid-dimension-hoppers sub-genre of science fiction. One of my twenty favorite sub-genres. My interest remains piqued as the article compares the books to Star Wars and The Matrix, but takes a dip when they're compared to The DaVinci Code. So, take what you will from that.

Infinitely more interesting than the book itself are the tidbits about the author himself, John Twelve Hawks. That's not his real name. He lives off the grid. His agent, editor and publisher have never met him. He communicates only through a voice scrambler on an untraceable satellite phone. He uses stand-ins for book tours. For once, someone who writes paranoid sci-fi who is actually paranoid!

Yes, he has a fist that launches! Yes, he has wheels on his feet! Yes, he's two feet tall! Yes, he signifies the return of a beloved toy line, after an absence of over 25 years!

It's the Super Shogun Star Wars Stormtrooper, a $300 throwback to the days of the 1970's Shogun Warriors action figures with a Star Wars twist. When I was a kid, I had a Shogun Warrior Godzilla and a Goldorak in the larger sized 24-inch variety and a few of their smaller die-cast metal brethren, as well as piles upon piles of Star Wars figures. If I could buy this and then travel back in time to 1979 and hand deliver it to myself, I totally would.

Keep this site bookmarked for the day that Super 7's Super Shogun Star Wars Stormtrooper goes on presale.

(via Figures.com)

What happens when a hundred-plus Star Wars fans gather in one public place and bop each other on the heads with plastic lightsabers? Whatever it is, it looks an awful lot like some kind of riot. I guess the patrons of this mall in Bristol, England feel the same way -- you can hear them screaming in terror as the flashmob begins their geeky lightsaber flailing. All in good fun?

I actually just heard about flashmobs for the first time a couple of days ago, Seems people are using social media to organize large groups of like-minded people for mostly-comedic moments of mass hysteria. It's diverting to watch, but I wouldn't want to be stuck in the middle of one.

You see the Bristol lightsaber flashmob after the jump.

In one of the more unusual bits of Star Wars licensing news comes the Tom Angleberger novel The Strange Case of Origami Yoda. The story is aimed at the pre-teen set and tells of a class nerd who starts predicting events and spouting wisdom from a paper Yoda finger puppet. His channeling of the Jedi master Yoda is so eerily accurate that classmates start to suspect he's actually in tune with The Force.

It's a clever idea, and if this book had come out when I was in the sixth grade, it would've been a must-read. I'm kind of hoping the book translates well to film -- ss an adult, I'd see the movie for sure. The book will be released the March, but you can pre-order it now on Amazon.

(via StarWars.com)

Fathers and daughters have a special relationship in the movies, sentimentalized to the extreme in movies like the original Father of the Bride, with Spencer Tracy doting on Elizabeth Taylor. That movie came out in 1950, just as the first great decade for science fiction cinema was getting started. Every monster / space flick of the era seemed to feature a brainy but befuddled scientist with a beautiful daughter, waiting to be kissed by the police officer / brave citizen / gun-toting hero. The fathers were protective; the daughters needed to be protected.

As the decades have passed, the idea of "Daddy's Little Girl" hasn't progressed very much. Women have played more warriors and have safeguarded their own daughters, but when it comes to the father / daughter dynamic, very few relationships have been portrayed with much subtlety or depth. For a mainstream comparison, take a look at Martin Campbell's Edge of Darkness, in which Mel Gibson plays a Boston police detective seeking vengeance for the murder of his daughter. The film is a tight thriller featuring an abundance of dramatic flavor. What drives the narrative forward, however, is Gibson's memory of his lost adult daughter as a little girl, the darling child with shaving cream on her face, shaving with a comb in imitation of her loving father.

Here are the top sci-fi fathers and daughters, the highlights and low lights of the genre's least appreciated family relationship.

1. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Darth Vader doesn't have any kind of relationship with his daughter as his daughter -- he thinks she's the enemy -- but it's the mere threat that he will have one that whips Luke Skywalker into a frenzy. Surely the blood shared by Darth and Leia informs the entire series.

I've purchased a lot of Star Wars stuff over the years, from action figures to C3PO breakfast cereal to Return of the Jedi Pepperidge Farm cookies, but I'm not the fan I used to be. How can I tell? Because even something as unique as Star Wars-themed tennis shoes FOR ADULTS can't get me excited.

Yes, I blame the prequels for killing my passion for Star Wars. I would've been first in line for a pair of TIE-Fighter Adidas a dozen years ago, for sure. Kudos to Adidas for coming up with a hip little commercial to sell their new sneaker line, but unless they come out with a steel-toed boot capable of stomping out the memory of Episode III, I'll have to be satisfied with my current shoes.

You can view the new commercial after the jump.

Now I know what you're thinking. Yes, everything is illogical about Star Wars. The crew of the Millennium Falcon fight flying creatures inside the belly of a giant space worm that lives inside an asteroid floating in space, for crying out loud. That doesn't mean people can't have fun applying science to the science-free world.

One such person is Rhett Allain, an Associate Professor of Physics at Southeastern Louisiana University. Over on the science blog Dotphysics, Allain casually uses his expertise to explain why R2D2, as seen in the prequel films, flying around with two go-go-gadget thrusters on his legs makes zero sense. There's a lot of math involved that is, I'll confess, over my head but the gist of it comes to this: considering all of the variables (gravity, speed, drag resistance etc), the only way R2D2 could attain flight is if he weighed an improbable 100 grams.

Sure, it's a pointless exercise that's hardly blowing the lid off of George Lucas otherwise physically sound fantasy world and making fun of the Star Wars prequels is like shooting manatees in a barrel, but it's a quirky read for Star Wars/physics geeks.

[Via BoingBoing]