indiana jones

For the longest time, Temple of Doom was my least favorite Indiana Jones film, then Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out and replaced it. Truth be told, I re-visited all three films in the original trilogy the week after Crystal Skull's release, just to make sure I hadn't been crazy in imagining that Crystal Skull just didn't feel like an Indiana Jones film (I wasn't crazy).

I was actually taken off guard a little by how much I actually liked Temple of Doom when I watched it in the shadow of Crystal Skull. For one, the movie is shot in actual locations instead of a green screen studio -- the jungle looks like a jungle, because, shock of shocks, it is one. John Williams' hummable Temple of Doom score is better than his Last Crusade score (and infinitely better than his lazy Crystal Skull score). Temple of Doom has a juvenile approach to its darker elements (gratuitous gross-out gags, off-putting humor) and when I was younger, I think I bucked against that more than I do now. For some reason, it's immature moments don't bug me as much as a grown man -- it's all in good fun.

Sideshow Collectibles has a new premium Indiana Jones figure, based on Temple of Doom, and like everything Sideshow makes, it's very expensive and very, very cool. Ten years ago, I might not have cared so much about this toy, but now I do, and I want one of my own. The premium format figure goes on pre-sale Thursday May 27, and sells for a cool $299.99. I hope you've got Indy's bankroll.

[Welcome to the Sci-Fi Lunch Break, where we'll be occasionally supplying you with a cool bit of audio/visual goodness to break up the monotony of the work day. You bring the turkey on rye, we'll bring you something out of this world to watch while you eat it.]

I go through a cycle every couple months where I want to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Once enough time has passed that I can't remember the last time I watched it from beginning to end, I decide to pop it in. I try to convince myself that it's better than I'm giving it credit for, but inevitably I always end up walking away before it ends (which is precisely why I can never recall how long its been since seeing it in full). It's a vicious cycle, believe me.

I don't hate the movie though. I think of it as just a misfire, a "not for me" movie if you will, rather than the audacious affront to childhood many find it to be. Even though I don't like the movie all that much, it's fascinating to me to dive behind the scenes. Today's Lunch Break does just that.

If you own Kingdom of the Crystal Skull you may have already seen this six-minute special feature of Spielberg explaining the genesis of the film. I post it not to remind everyone that Spielberg was the one who kept blocking the film from production; I post it because I love how you can hear genuine frustration and regret in Spielberg's voice. It's like watching the bank robber explain how he got out but was pulled back in for one final job...

Because right before Thanksgiving it'll do you good to take in a trailer mash-up that makes it look like our beloved Han Solo was a dirty filthy drug smuggler who sounds an awful lot like Al Pacino with a thick accent (to be fair there's a little Indiana Jones mixed in there, too). In all seriousness, though, this mash-up at least comes with a little style and substance. Most of them are simply re-dubbed over the original trailers, but this one -- oh no -- this one is a little loco ... just the way we like it.

Yeah ... there's nothing else to say except that Han Solo is a pimp. Carry on after the jump to see what I'm talking about.

Now this is just a tad mind boggling. As picked up on by /Film, LucasFilm and Sideshow Collectibles have released a 12" Indiana Jones action figure honoring the goofiest part of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If you're reading a site like this, you are no doubt familiar with the term "nuke the fridge", a reference to the opening scene of Crystal Skull in which everyone's favorite whip-cracking artifact hunter hides inside a refrigerator to survive an impending nuclear bomb test. Said fridge is subsequently launched into the air by the blast, soaring thousands of feet before bouncing violently as the fridge returns crashing to Earth, a little scorched, but otherwise intact.

Out spills Dr. Jones, unharmed by the logic atrocity that has just been committed. It was (and still is) a ridiculous scene that epitomized how silly the fourth Jones film would be remembered as. So it's remarkable to me that LucasFilm would embrace the egg on their face and allow Sideshow to license this figure. Either someone at Skywalker Ranch has a great sense of humor or they are truly oblivious to how cheesy nuking the fridge was. Whatever the case may be, you can now have a constant reminder of this cinematic milestone sitting on your desk for a mere $174.99 (I know, what a deal!).

There will only be 600 of these ever made, which will surely turn this into a bonafide collectors item in no time, but I still don't think that justifies rewarding LucasFilm's misstep with even more money. But if you'd still like to own one of these treasures, click on for a list of features.

Apparently the boys are hammering out the details for a fifth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise. Harrison Ford says that if the script is good he'll come back. But does that mean anything? He put on the fedora for Indiana Jones and the Space Invaders and that took the franchise in a direction it didn't need to go.

What's next? Indiana Jones and the Flying Saucer of Anal Probing? Indy and Mutt are abducted by aliens and brought on board their spaceship filled with ... snakes! The Jones boys must escape the clutches of the aliens by swinging from Indy's whip into an escape pod and make their way back to Earth with the alien's plans for planetary destruction so they can give them to Randy Quaid, who'll fly his plane right into the aliens' ship and blow 'em all up while Will Smith sheds a tear.

Damn, and I thought they couldn't top the fourth one. If Indiana Jones is going to come back, he needs to return to his mystical roots and leave the aliens for someone else to play with. ET II: Extra-Terrestrial Boogaloo maybe. What would you do in the new movie?